Adventures at The Warfield

This past week, I got the opportunity to see one of my all time favorite bands play; Faith No More. Despite the fact that the band had been broken up for a little more than a decade by the time they got back together last year, they sounded incredible and also they seemed to really enjoy doing being a band again. But this isnt so much about them as the experience itself, which was interesting in itself.
To start the evening off, we listen to these two typical San Francisco stoner philosophers who seem to have everything solved and know all. All of their solutions to life's problems seem to involve doing nothing and smoking pot for months on end; in any combination. So yeah,then the first band that came on was called The White Trash Debutants and the funniest thing about them was that some dude who was successfully tanked by this point (about 30 minutes into the night) yelled at the lead singer "Show us your penis!" Why was that funny? Oh that's right, the singer was a tranny. Anyways we sit through that dribble and then the second act comes on. The El Cerito Cheerleaders. That's right, cheerleaders. High school ones at that. It was funny that Faith No More would get a support act like that and that they would put them on after a real band. It was a little on the peder side of things that grown ass men were cat calling these girls who ranged from 14-16.(This was the living embodiment of the FNM tune "Edge of the World")
Anyways, so after that we moved to a different side of the floor so Mandi could see the stage and what do we find waiting for us? A couple of drunk guys who had porn on them. That they brought from home. To a concert. Then some guy says to them "You guys brought porn?!" To which they tell him, "Hey you never know when you will need it!" and "It's a free country, I'm just expressing my rights as an American!". Then a security guy notices these shenanigans, and tells them to knock it off, to which they pass the porn off on that guy and HE gets in trouble for it! Thankfully these guys disappear into the sea of people.
Then about 10 minutes before FNM comes on, the floor gets super crowded and all of San Francisco's tallest people are here. To top it off a stocky/buff guy and his skanky looking girlfriend are blocking the stairs so no one can get in or out and he bitches to people that he can't move. Where do these wonderful people end up at? Right in front of me. And by right in front of me, I mean so close I could count the stitches on the collar of his shirt. Plus he knows that I am right behind him and that a wall is right behind me but this doesn't stop this Grade A turd stain. Then out of nowhere him and his nasty girlfriend start to make out in the middle of one of FNM's heaviest songs.
Who knew that the kaleidoscope that is Faith No More would bring together a similar kaleidoscope of people. Some of which smelled like they looked, and some of them who looked like they should do the world a favor and not say anything at all. Thus concludes today's lectures. Enjoy!

PS: I forgot that on the way down there, Mandi and I saw a homeless guy, who was peeing on the side walk at like 6:30 at night, which was still broad daylight. At least he was facing profile to us and he was a right so we didn't actually have to see him drain the lizard. Silver lining anyone?

Neighbors: Part 1

This is what we call in the business a "cliff hanger". It is a two part installment all about my totally awesome neighbors.

This particular tale has something for everyone; there's cops, security officers, skanks, d-bags, loud music, people locking themselves out of their house, noise complaints, late nights, movies, and concrete walls. So please sit back and enjoy Neighbors: Part 1.

One of the best things about living in an apartment or townhouse as we do, is your neighbors. When we first moved here in late July of '09, I was completely unaware that we even had neighbors. I would be reading and every once in a while I would hear a little dog bark through the concrete walls, no big deal. Then all of a sudden, poof! They were gone. I only found out about it when I took the trash out and saw that the maintenance guys were laying brand new carpet down in a completely bare apartment. I then began to wonder what kind of neighbors we would get. A few days later the answer moved in, and it came complete with a neon BAR sign. Was this some sort of omen or just someone who loves neon signs? Stay tuned to find out on the next thrilling installment!