Funny Story Time: Part Duex!!!!!

Place: The Silkscreen room at school.
Time: Oh let's say.....about 11:00 on a Saturday.
Event: I'm prepping some screens for class on Tuesday, and there is a school tour that comes through.

Not the "twins" he was asking about.

So I am cleaning and prepping some screens  while listening to Steel Panther and I'm there by myself: it's a god damn blast! I'm back where the big sink is, had the hose going, so I couldn't hear a damn thing; no Steel Panther, nothing. Then out of nowhere I hear someone talking to what seems like a bunch of people. Turns out a tour came through the studio. What song is playing? Super Sonic Sex Machine; which is just one of many hilarious Steel Panther tunes by the way. That must have been an interesting song to hear for the unprepared.
Anyways, so this tour guide asks how it's going and I tell her "super duper". She keeps talking, and I notice someone's dad in the background looking at my iPhone on the docking station, which happened to be playing the album Balls Out with the cover photo you see on the side. He then makes his way up to me and says this:

Guy: What's with the twins?
Me:  I'm sorry what?
Guy: The twins. What's with the Twins?

I'm totally lost. He then reaches up to my head and pulls of my Minnesota Twins cap. He was from Minnesota. He wanted to talk about how shitty the Twins are. Here I thought he was asking me why the woman on the album cover had huge boobs.

Funny Story Time

Setting: San Francisco

Time: Fall 2011

Event: the Vikings just lost ANOTHER god damn game in what was an unbelievably shitty season

I was walking down Van Ness after the Vikings got the shit kicked out of them AGAIN. I was wearing my Minnesota Wild hoodie and my Vikings hat. I come upon this dude who was wearing a Vikings jacket and hat. He look seriously pissed off. As I get close to him I see what he is wearing and he sees what I am wearing. In mid stride as we pass each other, we both stare at each other and begin laughing out loud as we pass each other. God damn Minnesota Vikings.

Books from My Childhood Part II

...and now, for another exciting installment in this thing I wrote a few weeks ago...part II!

Boogity Boo you little bastard!

So in the first installment of Books From My Childhood, I looked at the Boxcar Children and all the messed up things in that train car of crazy. Now, I'll examine one set of books I LOVED as a kid, until they got ridiculously stupid; Goosebumps.

First off, my very first one that I got was Say Cheese and Die, scared the shit out of me. Actually all the early ones did. Maybe R.L. Stein was like a kids version of Stephen King? But those books scared the shit out of me. I mean who would write stuff like that for a kid? Books about cameras that will show your death, parents who turn into crazy plant scientists, dummy's that come to life in the middle of the god damn night, or Halloween masks that become part of your face?! Seriously what the shit? Probably what was more messed up was the fact that I was in a stupid competition with kids in my class to see who could read as many of this child sized versions of It as fast as they could without getting admitting how much of a puss you were. Another messed up one was the classic Attack of the Mutant. That god damn book made me not want to read comics, for fear of becoming made of ink.
 But then all of a sudden something happened with this books, they jumped the shark (that would have been a crazy one!). Every kid in Murrica started to read them, they became super popular to the point where one was coming out like every month! They started making "chose your own adventure" books. But probably the most damning thing was that TV show. It took the scare right out because of the shitty acting and props. I guess they were going for a children's version of Tales From the Crypt (good idea?). I guess as these things became more popular R.L. Stein started to make them less scary to rake in the dough. I mean seriously, how many Night of the Living Dummy's did he write? 15? 59?
Looking back on those books now, it makes you wonder; "why did my parents let me read this shit?".