What's That Smell: Part Seven: Baby Shit & Aviation Nerds

New Year, new entry in the fabled epic goddamn journey know as "What's That Smell?"

Here we go...


My journey started the day before the actual journey. I had to  book a slot on the Super Shuttle for super fucking early the next morning, and also for the first time in my aviation life; checking in to a flight online. I was a bit nervous about checking in online, because I had never done it and the damn website was only giving me a boarding pass for one of my two flights. So far, off to an uncertain start. The Super Shuttle thing went down easy and I also got like %15 off, which amounted to like $3.
However that night things got interesting. I didn't sleep well, partly because I stayed up late and was afraid that I would oversleep and miss my shuttle/flight. Another thing was that I for some reason had an extremely upset stomach. Every two hours I would wake up feeling like I was going to give birth out of my ass. Good times so far. When I actually woke up and took a shower I thought that it would be a better start. However two things happened. 1) The Super Shuttle guy was like 20 minutes late and 2) I felt like I had to take a massive shit but couldn't because I didn't know when this fucking guy would grace me with his presence. So I had to hold that bitch in ALL DAY.
I'm glad that I did check in online since the Super Shuttle guy was late. We got there with less than an hour to go before boarding and the line to get through security was hella long. I boarded the flight, got settled in next to my window seat and busted out a book I had been wanting to read for a while (Predator: Concrete Jungle; awesomeness). I ended up reading over 2/3's of it on the flight, but kept getting distracted because some ass hat was listening to one of the TED Talks from Sir Ken Robinson and laughing hysterically. Side note to this story....TED Talks are overrated, Ken Robinson is not funny, I don't know what Ken Robinson does for a living but he apparently thinks he is a god damn comedian. Seriously, every time I have heard/seen him speak, he seems to consciously script in laughter breaks. What a tool box. ANYWAYS...so this ass hat is laughing his stupid head off and I can hear him over me listening to Tommy by The Who.
Well, that flight lands and I have to run to the exact opposite end of the airport as usual. I find my terminal and chill out for a bit. Then about 20 minutes later we board and boy was I in for a doozy. Now if anyone has read any of the previous installments of What's That Smell?, you will have deduced that I am from Grand Forks; which is where I was headed. Grand Forks is home to the University of North Dakota. Among other things, UND has a world class aviation program and about 2.3 million fucking aviation nerds with it. About 100 of them ended up being on my flight. The whole way, and by the whole way, I mean the whole way; I had to listen to these losers backseat drive and criticize the pilot for the whole god damn flight. And on top of that, (here it comes) the plane had a weird smell (boom!). Why was that? Because a fucking crying baby (who also cried the whole way) was nice enough to take a shit, before take off. By the smell of it, he probably ate another baby's shit.

Well, that's that. Flying home in less than a week. More smelliness to follow!