Adventures at The Warfield

This past week, I got the opportunity to see one of my all time favorite bands play; Faith No More. Despite the fact that the band had been broken up for a little more than a decade by the time they got back together last year, they sounded incredible and also they seemed to really enjoy doing being a band again. But this isnt so much about them as the experience itself, which was interesting in itself.
To start the evening off, we listen to these two typical San Francisco stoner philosophers who seem to have everything solved and know all. All of their solutions to life's problems seem to involve doing nothing and smoking pot for months on end; in any combination. So yeah,then the first band that came on was called The White Trash Debutants and the funniest thing about them was that some dude who was successfully tanked by this point (about 30 minutes into the night) yelled at the lead singer "Show us your penis!" Why was that funny? Oh that's right, the singer was a tranny. Anyways we sit through that dribble and then the second act comes on. The El Cerito Cheerleaders. That's right, cheerleaders. High school ones at that. It was funny that Faith No More would get a support act like that and that they would put them on after a real band. It was a little on the peder side of things that grown ass men were cat calling these girls who ranged from 14-16.(This was the living embodiment of the FNM tune "Edge of the World")
Anyways, so after that we moved to a different side of the floor so Mandi could see the stage and what do we find waiting for us? A couple of drunk guys who had porn on them. That they brought from home. To a concert. Then some guy says to them "You guys brought porn?!" To which they tell him, "Hey you never know when you will need it!" and "It's a free country, I'm just expressing my rights as an American!". Then a security guy notices these shenanigans, and tells them to knock it off, to which they pass the porn off on that guy and HE gets in trouble for it! Thankfully these guys disappear into the sea of people.
Then about 10 minutes before FNM comes on, the floor gets super crowded and all of San Francisco's tallest people are here. To top it off a stocky/buff guy and his skanky looking girlfriend are blocking the stairs so no one can get in or out and he bitches to people that he can't move. Where do these wonderful people end up at? Right in front of me. And by right in front of me, I mean so close I could count the stitches on the collar of his shirt. Plus he knows that I am right behind him and that a wall is right behind me but this doesn't stop this Grade A turd stain. Then out of nowhere him and his nasty girlfriend start to make out in the middle of one of FNM's heaviest songs.
Who knew that the kaleidoscope that is Faith No More would bring together a similar kaleidoscope of people. Some of which smelled like they looked, and some of them who looked like they should do the world a favor and not say anything at all. Thus concludes today's lectures. Enjoy!

PS: I forgot that on the way down there, Mandi and I saw a homeless guy, who was peeing on the side walk at like 6:30 at night, which was still broad daylight. At least he was facing profile to us and he was a right so we didn't actually have to see him drain the lizard. Silver lining anyone?

Neighbors: Part 1

This is what we call in the business a "cliff hanger". It is a two part installment all about my totally awesome neighbors.

This particular tale has something for everyone; there's cops, security officers, skanks, d-bags, loud music, people locking themselves out of their house, noise complaints, late nights, movies, and concrete walls. So please sit back and enjoy Neighbors: Part 1.

One of the best things about living in an apartment or townhouse as we do, is your neighbors. When we first moved here in late July of '09, I was completely unaware that we even had neighbors. I would be reading and every once in a while I would hear a little dog bark through the concrete walls, no big deal. Then all of a sudden, poof! They were gone. I only found out about it when I took the trash out and saw that the maintenance guys were laying brand new carpet down in a completely bare apartment. I then began to wonder what kind of neighbors we would get. A few days later the answer moved in, and it came complete with a neon BAR sign. Was this some sort of omen or just someone who loves neon signs? Stay tuned to find out on the next thrilling installment!

People You Encounter at Work

I've had some downtime on Spring Break so, aside from doing everything that goes along with homework, getting caught up on my guitar playing, getting outside, and doing some reading; I've tried to be more active on this thing. Todays writing will focus on something that I haven't done since moving out to San Francisco in July of last year: work. My previous job at a music store was in a word awesome. I became exposed to new music I might have not been able to find, played dozens of new guitars and even became "good" at drums. I also met some cool people, got to meet quite a few of my musical heroes and also encounter some truly turdey people. Which is the point of this piece.

Most times people who come into music shops are cool enough, they have some unique stories and are just interesting people. On the other hand some people who came in just plain sucked ass. They would act as though we owed them something which would entitle them to free or greatly reduced merchandise. Or they would assume that $49.99 was code for: open to haggling. Often times I wanted to ask "Where do you work? Can I stop by and get a whole bunch of shit for free? No? Than what makes you so special?" Another favorite thing of mine that rude customers would do is rag on what we would carry, how much it sucked, and the price. Seriously? Who has the balls to do that? It amazes me that some people can do that. Of course I loved my job and held my tongue. The turdish people that I encountered were not just restricted to customers, some people I worked with over the years there, also got into the same boat. This was something that I never really thought about much until a friend of mine who also moved out here brought this to my attention. Don't get me wrong, I don't claim to be the most knowledgeable and I occasionally dropped the ball on somethings, but there were others who would take that job for granted. I often told people that I worked with, that this would probably be the coolest job that they will have and they would still screw it up. They would either be so full of themselves, show up late, try to leave early, not put any effort into working, get too distracted by the fact that we were encouraged to play the instruments. It was really incredible. The only thing(s) that it takes to be successful at a job like that are: some product knowledge, not sell people things they don't need or want, be nice and just acknowledge that they exist, don't hover around them, and be available to them. Strangely enough some people still don't get that.

So, yeah thus ends todays readings. Yey akward endings!

The Best Way to Spend 2 Hours of Your Life.

The Department of Motor Vehicles. What can one say about the place that hasn't been said before? For starters it sucks ginormous ass, the people who work there clearly a) hate their jobs b) hate their lives and c) hate you; and the lines are HUGE. It's as though people camp out 5 weeks in advance to get in line. This makes it rather difficult to just show up and you know do something simple like, I don't know renew your license. Although there are some differences with DMV's in different states. For example the one in North Dakota rocks balls. Almost never any lines, you are generally in and out of that place in anywhere from 10-30 minutes. Here in San Francisco, we went to get Mandi's drivers license renewed, boy was that an adventure. We get there at 10:45ish and we leave at 12:30. WOWIE! That's it?! Lets learn a little about this adventure shall we?

We get there and are able to cut through the line so that Mandi can take her written test, but the woman who is working at the desk acts as though we are disrupting her, even though its her job. Then some woman cuts in front of us, which causes the lady at the desk to flip out on her. Then we are given a number to wait in line for her to take her test; G 165. You would think that they do all the G's then switch to another letter right? Wrong, and you're dumb for assuming so, just like me. They call like 10 G's then skip to call like 30 B's then mix it up and do some more G's. So after 25 minutes of waiting, her number is called. I proceed to sit in my chair and read "The Zombie Survival Guide" as to prepare for the imminent attack. Then Americas fattest and smelliest people file in front of me to sit on the opposite side of me, good times. Then a creepy old "rent a cop" parades around wielding his power to keep people in line and make them be quite. Then he contradicts all that and he yells at someone for asking what line to stand in to hand in your test. Finally Mandi finishes, she passes, but I guess that wasn't good enough and the person at the desk taunts her for not doing better. Wow, someone loves what they do for a living.

So, I guess what I'm driving at is that the DMV is awesome and is the best way to spend like two hours of your life and made to feel like a complete idiot for disturbing someone by asking them a question that relates to their job....at their job...

Whoever says they aren't a creeper, is a liar.

There is one thing about social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace that I don't understand. Why is it that people set up security features so that no one or only a select few can see their profile, but then they will creep on everyone else's profile? Don't say that you don't or you don't know anyone who does cause their full of shit. I mean it is your right to put security on your profile but seriously what do you have to hide? I have no restrictions on my profile, not cause its awesome ( even though it is ) but because I don't care. If you want to see what I did when I went to the Twins game in Oakland last year, be my guest. If you set restrictions on your profile, maybe you shouldn't have a profile. Anyways thats my two cents on that topic. Either stop creeping, open up your profile, or just get rid of it.

The most messed up thing, I almost saw.

So this was on my birthday, Feb. 16th. I was walking home from class on New Montgomery street listening to "Ride the Lightning" by Metallica, and all of a sudden I see a cop on his walkie talkie freaking out. I also notice a large group of people standing around. I started to wonder what the hell was going on, so I stopped and looked around, then I looked up and saw a guy standing on the ledge of this building which is a Bank of America/Forever 21. He is in what appears to be his boxer shorts coming in and out of the window. Then I look down and the security guard who works at either the bank or Forever 21 is pushing people out of the way. By this time a large group of people has gathered around to see this. I then whip out my phone and snap a picture of this guy, just because it looked strange. Then I called Mandi to let her know what was going on, and she was naturally perplexed. She thought that it was interesting but wanted me to hurry home so we could have some of my birthday cake. Disappointed I left, turning around to see the ever growing crowd, unsure if I would find out what happened.
One week later...
I was again in the same class and we were discussing some local/national current events before the days lecture. I then say "Hey, did anyone find out what happened to that guy who was standing on top of Bank of America/Forever 21?" Almost everyone was puzzled and then one guy said in the most casual tone "Oh yeah, he jumped." Everyone gasped. He then continued in the same tone "Yeah, I rode by on the bus and they were scooping him up." I instantly thought back to that and ran two things through my mind A) that would have been incredible to see that, and B) that would have been really messed up to see some dude jump to his death.
I didn't see him jump but for the next few hours I was sort of piecing it together in my mind; him jumping, the crowd screaming, him hitting the ground. It would have been crazy to see, but at the same time I would have been witnessing someone die before my eyes in an incredible brutal way. Plus he was up so high and I was standing with the crowd not to far from where he landed, so chances are that I would have been splatted with blood or something else. So while I didn't see that guy jump, and I'm kind of glad that I didn't, I missed out on seeing something fairly out of the ordinary.

P.S. this photo is the one I took while standing there, so this guy ended up jumping no more than an hour later.

So in spirit of the Super Bowl, I thought I'd share my take on it. I love football, its my favorite sport, sometimes it's an unhealthy thing to follow, with the stress that comes with it, replaying things that happened in your mind, and also playing the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" game. My team is the Vikings, and I equate being a fan of theirs as being in an abusive relationship. No matter how bad or how many times they hurt me, I still come back to them. But sadly this is not about them, it's about the Super Bowl. If I were to sum it up in one word it would be: boring. Nothing about the game really got my attention, except for the onside kick to start the second half. The commercials were a complete and total disaster. Not one funny one in the bunch (most of them were Bud Light & Doritos). The only bright spot were The Who. I think The Who are a great band, but when did the halftime show of the biggest sporting event of the year become the highlight of the night? Also even though I guessed just about all of the tunes that The Who would be playing it was still better than the game and commercials combined. Although I will say that it was a welcome change of pace for them to show more than 3 plays and then go to 4 minutes of commercials, but despite the fact that my team was not in the biggest game again, I thought that Super Bowl 44 was a complete stinker on all fronts.