If I never hear this again, I'd be happy.

Brother. I don't have any. Never have, never will. I can't stress how dumb it sounds when I read or hear someone calling someone else their brother, when clearly they are not. This is no more evident than in metal/hard rock where guys love to call each other brother. What the crap? Seriously? We like the same bands and all of a sudden we're brothers? I don't think so. I wouldn't even call a friend that I have known for most of my life a brother, for one simple reason and it comes courtesy of Damon Wayans in Major Payne "I AM NOT, YOUR DAMN BROTHER!" So please, never refer to me as your brother. If I were your brother, we would have the same parent(s) and it would not sound so redonkulous.