What's That Smell? Part Two: Not As Smelly, But Still!

So to continue with the tale of "What's That Smell?", I'm going to do something different.  Since nothing of real interest happened on the way back from San Francisco to Los Angeles to Minneapolis to Grand Forks; I'm going to fast forward to my most recent (as of me writing this July 2010) air travels. This trip went from San Francisco to Chicago to Fargo. Not as exciting as the first tale, but still it's my blog thing so deal with.
Alrighty, so I start by going riding the B.A.R.T. to the airport by myself, which was kinda nerve wracking just because I felt I was cutting things close with time and I was also afraid I might have gotten on the wrong train. Obviously that didn't happen (duh). I get to the airport and ride the air train thing with no idea where my terminal is, because on the air train all it says that Terminal 1 is for international flights, Terminal 2 is under construction, and Terminal 3 was for domestic flights. Guess which one I chose. If you guessed Terminal 3, you're right and you're also a dumb ass like me. Terminal 3 was not the correct answer, so I went to ask some random employee at the airport where I could find the American Airlines terminal(s); she points in some arbitrary direction. Awesome. Just what you need when you're strapped for time. Lucky for me some guy at Delta was nice enough to tell me that I had to go to Terminal 1 and it was only like a 2 minute walk.
Finally I get into the American Airlines terminal and what do I see? A line. A big ass line. While I was waiting to get checked in I notice that the ladies working at the counter were older, about middle aged and they were smaller. This meant that they were not strong enough to properly pick up and set down the luggage so what do they do? They just chuck that shit on there as hard as they can, almost in a competitive manner. Then laugh about in front of the people who gave them the bags. Also I notice/overheard a conversation between an airlines lady and some chick who acted like her shit didn't stink. It was to the extent of the airlines lady ruining this woman's day by telling her that she can't board the plane because it was going to take off in about 3 minutes. That's right this lady got mad at the airlines lady because she was just now checking in 3 minutes before the plane, you know, flies away.
After the fun of checking in, I get to go through security. These people were total DICKS! They were belittling every person who came through there, including me. The best was a guy who went through the metal detector and sets it off. He then takes off all of the metal stuff and puts it in a little bucket and tries to walk through the metal detector AGAIN, with the METAL. Some peoples kids. Plus there were quite a few random people cutting through the line. There were two really ugly sticks with big nasty fake boobs who thought that because they were showing up fashionably late for their flight, they could cut to the head of the line. Then there was a mom with what seemed like an army of small annoying children who cut in front of everyone. And my personal favorite, A family whose daughter forgot her passport and had her friend scan it in and email it to her so they could show security and guess what. IT WORKED! Once I pass through this hell hole, I race down to find my gate and discover that I didn't have an actual seat yet and that they had been calling my name for like 30 minutes. Just before I board the flight I realize that I am hungry in the wrong place. I bought 1 sandwich and 1 small bottle of water for $11. And that sandwich sucked balls!
Finally I'm on the plane and my seat is in the very last row in by the window in front of the bathrooms. Yey. This flight didn't suck that bad, I mean I watched Predator on my Mac, which attracted a lot of viewing by guys who were waiting for the bathroom. Plus there were about 3 screaming babies around me and the girl who was next to me slept pretty much the whole way and would wake up to yawn and would fill the air with stink ass breath, other than that it was okay. We land and it takes what seems like 3.5 hours to get off the plane. It seemed like people were just standing around chatting instead of getting off the plane. Once I managed to actually get off of the plane, I had to rush to find a bathroom or I was going to pee all over the place. As I was racing through the airport, I ran into the guy who took my spot as one of the guitar instructors at my old job. Small world. Even smaller was that he was on the same flight to Fargo as me.

So before the last leg of this journey began, I had to go to the bathroom (again!) and while I was in the bathroom right next to my gate, the power hungry turd at the gate had apparently been calling my name a lot in the 3 minutes that I was in there. I go up to the counter and he asks me if I'm some name that doesn't sound like mine. He then deduces that I am the same person whose name he was calling. Then he tells me "Where were you? I've been calling your name for 10 minutes?! I was about to give your seat away." No joke. Well I get on the plane and I am greeted by a woman who looked like Olivia Munn, if she gained about 15 pounds, and was Russian, and was a bitch. Oh and I am also greeted by the stink of ass on the plane (There's the tie in to the first one!!!).
I'm totally sure that I will have more crazy flight stories, I mean I'm due to fly back to San Francisco from my mom's house in a week or so (again as of this writing). Plus I plan on coming home to visit twice a year and who knows how much I'll have to as real adult, versus the one that I am now!