Play Ball Bitches!

Baseball, it's awesome. After football it's my favorite sport and recently I went to my second professional game again between my Minnesota Twins and the Oakland A's. The Twins lost and that was sad, they put up a fight but came up short but won the series 2 games to 1. Todays tale is again about the experience that we had along the way, so sit back and enjoy!
I should have known that it was going to be an interesting day because right off the bat (no pun intended, wait yes!) at the BART station I look up and see a quasi graffiti on the ceiling type thing and what does it say? "CHRIS MOFFETT IS A PHEDOPHILE", complete with a creepy smiley face. That set the tone for the day.
So about 35-45 minutes later, we get there and surprise surprise; The Coliseum is still a shit hole! But for about $35 each, Mandi and I were sitting in the second row (seats 3&4) just to the left of the Twins bullpen, banging seats if I do say so myself. So we're sitting there watching Carl Pavano and Kevin Slowey play catch about 10 yards from us (really cool), then all of a sudden a bunch of dumb ass kids start to flood the front row fence trying in vain to get the players attention by yelling "Hey #48!" or "Hey can I have the ball?". Surprisingly none of this works. Then the game starts and no one is in front of us or next to us which is awesome, then the afternoon took a strange turn.
First Oakland's skankiest mom and her two dumb ass kids show up and sit next to us, or should I say me cause I take the bullet for the team. They get like everything that one could imagine from pizza, to pop, to stuffed animals. Then in the top of the second the next wave of dip shits arrive. They are in the form of 2 dumb ass guys and their 2 equally retarded wives/girlfriends. One guy thinks that he is an expert in baseball but then will negate his expertise by saying something to the effect of "How do they cut the grass?" This is tolerable until our resident expert takes his shirt off for no reason and what do I see after he does this? His back has been waxed and it's growing back in. Yummy. Every time a foul ball is hit anywhere in our general vicinity he says something like "Dude, if he had just hit the ball at more of 5 degree angle, it would be right on top of us." Bravo. Meanwhile the whole time those two dumb ass kids keep getting up because they think that if they bother the ball boy enough he will give their ball to the Twins bullpen for them to sign it, and what would you know, they get shot down every time. So much that one of them is on the verge of tears (love it). And despite the fact that those little bastards keep interrupting our experience by walking in front of us, Mom of the Year does nor says anything to them about it, but finally notices that we are extremely annoyed and tells them to sit in some empty seats so that they can be crushed once again.
Fast forward to the bottom of the 7th inning. The geniuses in front of us have been talking to their friends who were sitting in a shitty section of the stadium all day, then sneak them into the front row with them. This is where it gets more interesting/annoying. There fat turd friend is now sitting where Mr. Backwax was sitting, Instantly, I hate him. Now this next part is where every annoying version of a fan on T.V. comes out of the screen and into real life. The fat turd heckles one of the Twins pitchers (Alex Burnett) relentlessly, and I know it's his right as a fan to be vocal but still; then another Twins pitcher named Jon Rauch walks by us but he says nothing to him. I think its because Rauch is like 7 feet tall and about 275 pounds. Anyways, then out of nowhere a security guard shows up and this more or less is their exhcange:

SG: How did you get those seats?
FT: I bought the tickets, I've been here the whole game.
SG: Really? Cause I know for a fact that you've been in that upper section all game.
FT: No man I got the tickets right here.
SG: I don't care.
(At this point he some how pulls the tickets out of his ass, when none of them had the tickets because Hairy back guy and his lady were supposed to sit next to us the whole time with their other two idiot friends sitting in the 1 and 2 seats.)
SG: Well, if I have to come back here again, I'm bringing my friends and there will be no discussion.
FT: You won't have to come back. I promise cross my heart, hope to die!

The security guard leaves and instantly the fat turd and his friends start laughing about the incident with a much more cocky tone. Then the fat turd's mutant woman says "Wow, and that was only mild heckling from him." and "See, next time I tell you to shut up, shut up."
Both sadly and thankfully the game is nearing the end. Super Skank and her bastard offspring decide to leave the game an inning early and AGGGGGGAIN cut in front of us to leave, but it was the last time so I let it slide. Then about 15 minutes later, the game ends and we leave and notice one last thing: we both have ridiculous sunburns.
So ends another season of the Twins coming out to Oakland to play the A's. They are 1-1 in the two games we have seen and next May,June, or July when they come back again; we'll be there to see them and all the freak ass people who are there!