Where: Kan Zaman Cafe, San Francisco
When: July 2009
So back in July of '09 several of us went down to Haight so that we could show a few friends around who just moved to the area. We got hungry and were looking for a place to eat. Some of the group wanted to eat at Cha Cha Cha's; but ultimately we ended up eating at Kan Zaman. From what I gathered, it was a Middle Eastern type of restaurant and had an interesting vibe to boot. Short ass tables that were super cramped, tons of beads, and Middle Eastern art on the walls. But it also came with dumb ass servers. I ordered something, can't remember what exactly. I remember that it was something cold and in my stupid mind I thought "Hey, this sounds good, it might be better with cheese!" Here is an almost verbatim transcript of what happened between me and the server:
Me: Hey I want to get (whatever I ordered), but I can I get that with cheese?
Server: Cheese?
Me: Yeah, just add cheese onto it.
Server: I don't even think that we have cheese.
Me: Well, if you don't it's okay...
Server: I'll check in the back.
Every answer the server gave me was complete with sass and bitchiness. So after awhile, we get our food and we're eating and it's okay. I notice that I don't have cheese on my thingy that I'm eating, but my friends fiance DOES. Her food came with cheese. So to sum up the events so far: 1. I asked for cheese 2. Server looks at me like I'm some sort of weirdo 3. I don't get cheese 4. My friends fiance gets cheese.
So when it comes time to pay the bill and tip, things become interesting. She sees that we are done for awhile but doesn't come over, then when she does makes a stink because we want to pay dutch and then proceeds to take her sweet ass time ringing us up despite the fact that she has a total of 1 table: us. So I give her virtually no tip and then leave, without getting my god damn cheese.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Guitar Heroes (Real Ones)
***This is just my opinion***
This might be a some what bold statement, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that in this day and age there are no guitar heroes. Let me clarify, there are no NEW guitar heroes. All of the guitar heroes of the world and any genre of music are from yesteryear. Don't get me wrong here, there are tons of guitar players who are talented no question about it, but to me a guitar hero is one who makes you want to pickup the instrument and learn a new song, new technique, or just to learn how to play period.
When I taught guitar lessons every kid came in and wanted to learn how to play like Angus Young, Kirk Hammett, Jimi Hendrix, Eddie Van Halen, Jimmy Page, and a few others. The point is that a few of those guys are currently producing new work, but for the most part they are guys from the past who haven't done anything in sometime for various reasons. They were the whole package. They looked cool, wrote awesome songs, and could really play. Now an days the guys you see in the magazines can essentially just do tricks like sweep picking and tapping (which is sort of ironic due to the fact that those are things that the older guitar heroes taught them), they don't write good songs (it's subjective, but that's what I think), and they look like tools.
Now just because I say that there aren't any new guitar heroes, that doesn't mean that there aren't any great/good new(er) guitar players. They are everywhere you just need to use your ears. They just lack what the greats of yesteryear had. Those guys were and still are able to inspire people to play and get better.
As much as they might have had no intention of it, or if people want to disagree about it, I think that the last guitar heroes were some of the Grunge players. After that, it's been all downhill.
This might be a some what bold statement, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that in this day and age there are no guitar heroes. Let me clarify, there are no NEW guitar heroes. All of the guitar heroes of the world and any genre of music are from yesteryear. Don't get me wrong here, there are tons of guitar players who are talented no question about it, but to me a guitar hero is one who makes you want to pickup the instrument and learn a new song, new technique, or just to learn how to play period.
When I taught guitar lessons every kid came in and wanted to learn how to play like Angus Young, Kirk Hammett, Jimi Hendrix, Eddie Van Halen, Jimmy Page, and a few others. The point is that a few of those guys are currently producing new work, but for the most part they are guys from the past who haven't done anything in sometime for various reasons. They were the whole package. They looked cool, wrote awesome songs, and could really play. Now an days the guys you see in the magazines can essentially just do tricks like sweep picking and tapping (which is sort of ironic due to the fact that those are things that the older guitar heroes taught them), they don't write good songs (it's subjective, but that's what I think), and they look like tools.
Now just because I say that there aren't any new guitar heroes, that doesn't mean that there aren't any great/good new(er) guitar players. They are everywhere you just need to use your ears. They just lack what the greats of yesteryear had. Those guys were and still are able to inspire people to play and get better.
As much as they might have had no intention of it, or if people want to disagree about it, I think that the last guitar heroes were some of the Grunge players. After that, it's been all downhill.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Neighbors: Part 2: The Revenge
And now for the thrilling conclusion to the "Neighbors" saga.
When we last left off, our new neighbors had a neon "BAR" sign and we were not sure if they were going to be total tools or just people who were trying to be ironic or something of that nature. Well, in real short order we found out that it was the first one plus more.
Because we live in California, we have concrete walls for the support walls and you would naturally assume that it would be hard to hear people through one correct? Wrong. First off our bedroom wall is right next to the bedroom on the other side and there are also concrete walls on the other side of the bedrooms; so at the very least there is one concrete wall and at the most three concrete walls between us and them. Regardless of the number we can hear them loud and clear. Until recently it was every Thursday through Sunday we could hear their "awesome" parties along with the skanks that they have next door. Every time that we would call Courtesy Patrol (apartment security) they would do one of two things a) pretend no one was home or b) act like they just got home and say there was not party. Sneaky bastards. As the kids on the streets say: it's on.
So after talking to the head of the Courtesy Patrol we learned somethings about how they work. If we would call and they walk by and hear nothing they were powerless, but if we call and tell them to come inside our apartment and they hear them, then they will do something about. After awhile, they adapted to this. Sneaky bastards. We still had one more ace up our sleeve.
Later when we talked to Courtesy Patrol for what seemed like the 932nd time, the told us to call the police and then call them. They also told us that every time that they have to go over there and talk to them, with the police, that they filled out reports, and after a while they would get the boot. Well the police went over there like 4 times and after a while they adapted again and just moved to the other side of the building so we can barely hear them. Sneaky bastards. As of this we haven't figured out a next step.
Aside from those shenanigans, we have had the pleasure(?) of seeing them up close and personal. Here is a brief run down of what we have observed in no particular order: some of them wear ridiculously short shorts and love to wear them outside with no shirt, one of them plays guitar and loves to sit out and serenade the ladies as they walk by (he is awful), they were moving a mirror inside and broke it;then begun to yell at each other in what sounds like Spanish about whose fault it was, they leave their door open so that they can let the whole neighborhood hear how awesome they are (at anytime of the day), one of them has a walkie talkie phone and loves to sit on his steps and let everyone hear his conversations, and they love to play terrible music super loud....That about sums it up.
These are just some of the things that we have endured from these skid stains. That didn't include all the times where we were forced to listen to people yelling CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! while we were trying to sleep at 2 A.M. on Monday morning or the nasty skanks that they would bring home cackling like hyenas. As I said we were/are able to hear them through 1-3 concrete walls and also over the T.V. Thus concludes the tales involving our d-bag/turd stain neighbors, for now.
When we last left off, our new neighbors had a neon "BAR" sign and we were not sure if they were going to be total tools or just people who were trying to be ironic or something of that nature. Well, in real short order we found out that it was the first one plus more.
Because we live in California, we have concrete walls for the support walls and you would naturally assume that it would be hard to hear people through one correct? Wrong. First off our bedroom wall is right next to the bedroom on the other side and there are also concrete walls on the other side of the bedrooms; so at the very least there is one concrete wall and at the most three concrete walls between us and them. Regardless of the number we can hear them loud and clear. Until recently it was every Thursday through Sunday we could hear their "awesome" parties along with the skanks that they have next door. Every time that we would call Courtesy Patrol (apartment security) they would do one of two things a) pretend no one was home or b) act like they just got home and say there was not party. Sneaky bastards. As the kids on the streets say: it's on.
So after talking to the head of the Courtesy Patrol we learned somethings about how they work. If we would call and they walk by and hear nothing they were powerless, but if we call and tell them to come inside our apartment and they hear them, then they will do something about. After awhile, they adapted to this. Sneaky bastards. We still had one more ace up our sleeve.
Later when we talked to Courtesy Patrol for what seemed like the 932nd time, the told us to call the police and then call them. They also told us that every time that they have to go over there and talk to them, with the police, that they filled out reports, and after a while they would get the boot. Well the police went over there like 4 times and after a while they adapted again and just moved to the other side of the building so we can barely hear them. Sneaky bastards. As of this we haven't figured out a next step.
Aside from those shenanigans, we have had the pleasure(?) of seeing them up close and personal. Here is a brief run down of what we have observed in no particular order: some of them wear ridiculously short shorts and love to wear them outside with no shirt, one of them plays guitar and loves to sit out and serenade the ladies as they walk by (he is awful), they were moving a mirror inside and broke it;then begun to yell at each other in what sounds like Spanish about whose fault it was, they leave their door open so that they can let the whole neighborhood hear how awesome they are (at anytime of the day), one of them has a walkie talkie phone and loves to sit on his steps and let everyone hear his conversations, and they love to play terrible music super loud....That about sums it up.
These are just some of the things that we have endured from these skid stains. That didn't include all the times where we were forced to listen to people yelling CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! while we were trying to sleep at 2 A.M. on Monday morning or the nasty skanks that they would bring home cackling like hyenas. As I said we were/are able to hear them through 1-3 concrete walls and also over the T.V. Thus concludes the tales involving our d-bag/turd stain neighbors, for now.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Red Squares
Two posts in the same day? Maui Wowie! This one is just something that I felt I needed to get off of my chest. It involves a heaping helping of bullshit and a dishwasher. Well not the dishwasher, but definitely the bullshit part. It happened on the last day of class in my last class of the semester. For anonymity purposes we will refer to the class as Auditory Illiteracy. So here it goes....
I'm walking to class feeling pretty good/content with what is going to happen: a final portfolio review of the semesters work. I'm feeling pretty good about my stuff and not letting the hugeness of the moment get to me. I ended up going first and presented my stuff, I felt it went well, and my teacher pointed out some good stuff that I did in the presentation. The whole class goes and then we are given a little envelope with three green squares and one red square. The objective is for us to do a pee to peer review type thing. You "secretly" put squares into others envelope, obviously green=good; red=not so good. You have to put all four of them into some one's envelope. Afterwards you leave the room so that the teacher can observe the work without prying eyes and the teacher would then look at the contents of the envelope, with him and the owner of the envelope being the only ones aware of its contents.
In the hall some classmates and myself are killing time waiting to go in the room. We are saying things like "I wonder what's in my envelope" and wondering about some other things. I saw the teacher leave for a second so I popped back in to put something in my backpack, and I see him come back in, so I tell him that I just had to do that; he tells me no big deal that he was done. Since we are the only ones in the class, he tells me that he looked at the contents of my envelope and said "I don't completely agree with what they said". I thought, "okkkkayyyy". I was expecting to get like a shit ton of greens and thought that he was saying something about that, WRONG. I open the little envelope and what do I see? FOUR red squares and ZERO green ones. What does that mean? Well, there are like 10-11 people in the class. That means that I got about 40% of the red squares. It means that my classmates don't like my work. Despite the fact that all along they have been telling me the exact opposite. Even when we were all back in the room my teacher said "You guys made some strange decisions". I later conferred this with my wonderful fiance who assured me not to worry about this, and we talked about the strange inter classroom politics that go into this ( that is a whole other thing ). Then later in the day I also conferred with two classmates whose opinions I trust and value. They told me the same thing. My work doesn't suck, it improved a lot over the course of the semester, and that I was crazy for dwelling on this. So after I thought about it, I realized that they were all right and those spineless bastards who didn't have the balls to tell me what they thought the whole semester can suck it! I know that my work is good, my teacher knows that my work is good and how hard I worked on things, and in the end those are the only people that I need to please. Myself first, and then the people who give me grades.
P.S. I passed the class, but as of me writing this, grades are not out yet.
I'm walking to class feeling pretty good/content with what is going to happen: a final portfolio review of the semesters work. I'm feeling pretty good about my stuff and not letting the hugeness of the moment get to me. I ended up going first and presented my stuff, I felt it went well, and my teacher pointed out some good stuff that I did in the presentation. The whole class goes and then we are given a little envelope with three green squares and one red square. The objective is for us to do a pee to peer review type thing. You "secretly" put squares into others envelope, obviously green=good; red=not so good. You have to put all four of them into some one's envelope. Afterwards you leave the room so that the teacher can observe the work without prying eyes and the teacher would then look at the contents of the envelope, with him and the owner of the envelope being the only ones aware of its contents.
In the hall some classmates and myself are killing time waiting to go in the room. We are saying things like "I wonder what's in my envelope" and wondering about some other things. I saw the teacher leave for a second so I popped back in to put something in my backpack, and I see him come back in, so I tell him that I just had to do that; he tells me no big deal that he was done. Since we are the only ones in the class, he tells me that he looked at the contents of my envelope and said "I don't completely agree with what they said". I thought, "okkkkayyyy". I was expecting to get like a shit ton of greens and thought that he was saying something about that, WRONG. I open the little envelope and what do I see? FOUR red squares and ZERO green ones. What does that mean? Well, there are like 10-11 people in the class. That means that I got about 40% of the red squares. It means that my classmates don't like my work. Despite the fact that all along they have been telling me the exact opposite. Even when we were all back in the room my teacher said "You guys made some strange decisions". I later conferred this with my wonderful fiance who assured me not to worry about this, and we talked about the strange inter classroom politics that go into this ( that is a whole other thing ). Then later in the day I also conferred with two classmates whose opinions I trust and value. They told me the same thing. My work doesn't suck, it improved a lot over the course of the semester, and that I was crazy for dwelling on this. So after I thought about it, I realized that they were all right and those spineless bastards who didn't have the balls to tell me what they thought the whole semester can suck it! I know that my work is good, my teacher knows that my work is good and how hard I worked on things, and in the end those are the only people that I need to please. Myself first, and then the people who give me grades.
P.S. I passed the class, but as of me writing this, grades are not out yet.
2 Bands, 1 Record label, & 1 State
California or Calfiornication? Both are great albums by two great bands. Despite whatever I write here, it is all going to come down to personal opinion. In 1999 Warner Brothers recording artists, Mr. Bungle and Red Hot Chili Peppers both released albums, Mr. Bungle released California, while Red Hot Chili Peppers released Californication. What many people are not aware of is the fact that because of RHCP's stature over Mr. Bungle, Mr. Bungle's album was pushed back for a few reasons. 1. They were/are a much bigger group, 2. Their albums have similar titles, and 3. Because RHCP had personality issues with Mr. Bungle.
So for long while I had only listened to Californication and thought it was a great album, but it always bothered me because it felt like the Chili Peppers sacrificed who they were for the critical acclaim and record sales. Then about 6-7 years ago I began to get into all projects that involved Mike Patton, and the latest one I have acquired is California by Mr. Bungle. I then found out about the back stories involved and figured I would compare the two. Here is my take.
Californication is a beautiful record, but it is the beginning of a band moving away from their sound and who they were for the better part of 15 years. It is too slick and inspired by one person. Its not what I love about the Chili Peppers, and it was the beginning of the global ass kissing of John Fruscante's playing. Meanwhile, California, is the definition of controlled chaos. Strange beautiful songs that boarder on the insane and are more true to who the musicians that make up the band, than trying to get record sales. So for that alone, I would pick California.
Then you have the whole power play move on the part of RHCP. Getting another bands album pushed back= lame. Then you have Anthony Kedis' strange hatred of Mike Patton, because he feels that he is basically a copy cat= lame. Anyone who is able to use their ears, is able to tell the difference between the two. One (Kedis) has had the same vocal approach for about 12 years or so, while the other (Patton) has continuously developed and moved forwards. Honestly, if you out the two next to each other, Patton mimicked Kedis for maybe a year at the most in the late 80s'. Since then they haven't even been in the same league.
Then the last part of the lame factor, is the fact that Kedis went out of his way to throw Mr. Bungle off of any show that featured the two groups together. The retaliation by Patton & co. was hilarious; it involved them coming out at one of their own shows dressed up as RHCP and playing their songs, and faking heroin overdoses.
So taking all of that into consideration, I would have to give my nod to California. It is an album that is truer to the band that made it, it is honest, and adventurous all at the same time. But with all of that rambling taken into consideration, I would encourage you to make your own decision.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Adventures at The Warfield
This past week, I got the opportunity to see one of my all time favorite bands play; Faith No More. Despite the fact that the band had been broken up for a little more than a decade by the time they got back together last year, they sounded incredible and also they seemed to really enjoy doing being a band again. But this isnt so much about them as the experience itself, which was interesting in itself.
To start the evening off, we listen to these two typical San Francisco stoner philosophers who seem to have everything solved and know all. All of their solutions to life's problems seem to involve doing nothing and smoking pot for months on end; in any combination. So yeah,then the first band that came on was called The White Trash Debutants and the funniest thing about them was that some dude who was successfully tanked by this point (about 30 minutes into the night) yelled at the lead singer "Show us your penis!" Why was that funny? Oh that's right, the singer was a tranny. Anyways we sit through that dribble and then the second act comes on. The El Cerito Cheerleaders. That's right, cheerleaders. High school ones at that. It was funny that Faith No More would get a support act like that and that they would put them on after a real band. It was a little on the peder side of things that grown ass men were cat calling these girls who ranged from 14-16.(This was the living embodiment of the FNM tune "Edge of the World")
Anyways, so after that we moved to a different side of the floor so Mandi could see the stage and what do we find waiting for us? A couple of drunk guys who had porn on them. That they brought from home. To a concert. Then some guy says to them "You guys brought porn?!" To which they tell him, "Hey you never know when you will need it!" and "It's a free country, I'm just expressing my rights as an American!". Then a security guy notices these shenanigans, and tells them to knock it off, to which they pass the porn off on that guy and HE gets in trouble for it! Thankfully these guys disappear into the sea of people.
Then about 10 minutes before FNM comes on, the floor gets super crowded and all of San Francisco's tallest people are here. To top it off a stocky/buff guy and his skanky looking girlfriend are blocking the stairs so no one can get in or out and he bitches to people that he can't move. Where do these wonderful people end up at? Right in front of me. And by right in front of me, I mean so close I could count the stitches on the collar of his shirt. Plus he knows that I am right behind him and that a wall is right behind me but this doesn't stop this Grade A turd stain. Then out of nowhere him and his nasty girlfriend start to make out in the middle of one of FNM's heaviest songs.
Who knew that the kaleidoscope that is Faith No More would bring together a similar kaleidoscope of people. Some of which smelled like they looked, and some of them who looked like they should do the world a favor and not say anything at all. Thus concludes today's lectures. Enjoy!
PS: I forgot that on the way down there, Mandi and I saw a homeless guy, who was peeing on the side walk at like 6:30 at night, which was still broad daylight. At least he was facing profile to us and he was a right so we didn't actually have to see him drain the lizard. Silver lining anyone?
To start the evening off, we listen to these two typical San Francisco stoner philosophers who seem to have everything solved and know all. All of their solutions to life's problems seem to involve doing nothing and smoking pot for months on end; in any combination. So yeah,then the first band that came on was called The White Trash Debutants and the funniest thing about them was that some dude who was successfully tanked by this point (about 30 minutes into the night) yelled at the lead singer "Show us your penis!" Why was that funny? Oh that's right, the singer was a tranny. Anyways we sit through that dribble and then the second act comes on. The El Cerito Cheerleaders. That's right, cheerleaders. High school ones at that. It was funny that Faith No More would get a support act like that and that they would put them on after a real band. It was a little on the peder side of things that grown ass men were cat calling these girls who ranged from 14-16.(This was the living embodiment of the FNM tune "Edge of the World")
Anyways, so after that we moved to a different side of the floor so Mandi could see the stage and what do we find waiting for us? A couple of drunk guys who had porn on them. That they brought from home. To a concert. Then some guy says to them "You guys brought porn?!" To which they tell him, "Hey you never know when you will need it!" and "It's a free country, I'm just expressing my rights as an American!". Then a security guy notices these shenanigans, and tells them to knock it off, to which they pass the porn off on that guy and HE gets in trouble for it! Thankfully these guys disappear into the sea of people.
Then about 10 minutes before FNM comes on, the floor gets super crowded and all of San Francisco's tallest people are here. To top it off a stocky/buff guy and his skanky looking girlfriend are blocking the stairs so no one can get in or out and he bitches to people that he can't move. Where do these wonderful people end up at? Right in front of me. And by right in front of me, I mean so close I could count the stitches on the collar of his shirt. Plus he knows that I am right behind him and that a wall is right behind me but this doesn't stop this Grade A turd stain. Then out of nowhere him and his nasty girlfriend start to make out in the middle of one of FNM's heaviest songs.
Who knew that the kaleidoscope that is Faith No More would bring together a similar kaleidoscope of people. Some of which smelled like they looked, and some of them who looked like they should do the world a favor and not say anything at all. Thus concludes today's lectures. Enjoy!
PS: I forgot that on the way down there, Mandi and I saw a homeless guy, who was peeing on the side walk at like 6:30 at night, which was still broad daylight. At least he was facing profile to us and he was a right so we didn't actually have to see him drain the lizard. Silver lining anyone?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Neighbors: Part 1
This is what we call in the business a "cliff hanger". It is a two part installment all about my totally awesome neighbors.
This particular tale has something for everyone; there's cops, security officers, skanks, d-bags, loud music, people locking themselves out of their house, noise complaints, late nights, movies, and concrete walls. So please sit back and enjoy Neighbors: Part 1.
One of the best things about living in an apartment or townhouse as we do, is your neighbors. When we first moved here in late July of '09, I was completely unaware that we even had neighbors. I would be reading and every once in a while I would hear a little dog bark through the concrete walls, no big deal. Then all of a sudden, poof! They were gone. I only found out about it when I took the trash out and saw that the maintenance guys were laying brand new carpet down in a completely bare apartment. I then began to wonder what kind of neighbors we would get. A few days later the answer moved in, and it came complete with a neon BAR sign. Was this some sort of omen or just someone who loves neon signs? Stay tuned to find out on the next thrilling installment!
This particular tale has something for everyone; there's cops, security officers, skanks, d-bags, loud music, people locking themselves out of their house, noise complaints, late nights, movies, and concrete walls. So please sit back and enjoy Neighbors: Part 1.
One of the best things about living in an apartment or townhouse as we do, is your neighbors. When we first moved here in late July of '09, I was completely unaware that we even had neighbors. I would be reading and every once in a while I would hear a little dog bark through the concrete walls, no big deal. Then all of a sudden, poof! They were gone. I only found out about it when I took the trash out and saw that the maintenance guys were laying brand new carpet down in a completely bare apartment. I then began to wonder what kind of neighbors we would get. A few days later the answer moved in, and it came complete with a neon BAR sign. Was this some sort of omen or just someone who loves neon signs? Stay tuned to find out on the next thrilling installment!
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