Grade A Turd.

Has anyone ever had more of an identity crisis than the guy to the right? Seriously. I mean look at the photo on the left of the two. I'm sure that it was taken around 1987ish because that's when Ozzy "discovered" Zakk Wylde. Then the other picture was taken around 20 or so years later. I know that people can change who they are a lot over that time span, but seriously; Zakk Wylde is such a poser. First he was a hair metal guy, then he was a southern rock dude, and now he's apparently a biker. Has there ever been someone who buys into to his own image more than this guy? The last time I thought that he was "cool" was when I was like 17; after that I was able to deduce that he is in fact a giant turd. I usually don't wish ill will on people but when he had that blood clot thing a while back; I thought to myself "Good. Serves him right for being such a douche."
Every interview with him he has to be loaded, has to unnecessarily swear, and call Ozzy and Sharon his "mom and dad" (for reals?). I actually read in Guitar Edge from a few years ago an interview with him and here is what he said with almost no paraphrasing

 Guitar Edge: How do you come up with new ideas?
 Zakk Wylde: I listen to music all the time. Like today, I was driving to the studio listening to "Whole Lotta Love" and I thought, "Man I'll just flip the riff around and poof! A new tune!" It's that simple.

Yes, it is that simple. That's how you go from being a good not great guitar player to a hack who plays eleventygillion notes of crap in a pentatonic scale. Oh yeah, and you have to make sure you criticize people who use wah wah when you yourself overuse said pedal.
Then there is the ego on this guy. I know that it's HIS band, but seriously he just let his bass player play on an album. Meanwhile the only time that the other guitar player (Nick Cantanese) has made an "official" appearance on an album was the unnecessary live album Alcohol Fueled Brewtality. That's it. How does that even resemble a band?
Anyways, going back to the image thing. Seriously now he thinks he's a biker...or a lesbian however you want to think about it; but anyways the only thing that more annoying than him sometimes are his fans, or brothers (See post from June regarding my feelings on that!). They also think that they are bikers because they wear stupid leather vests, disregard personal hygiene, overuse swear words, and drink too much. Nothing he does is stupid in their eyes, for real. Honestly, have these people ever read any of his "lyrics"? It's enough to want to punch yourself in the appendix to induce a rupture, so you will have to be sedated.
My last point to bitch about; his name. Zakk Wylde. Is there anymore of an 80s' glam name than that? Seriously, look at the spelling Zakk, has anyone ever spelt their name like that? Then theirs Wylde. Boy that's original. Do you know what his real name is? Jeffery Wielandt. Doesn't get much more bad ass than that eh? Well, now we know why he changed it to something a little less preposterous.
So yeah, I know that this was a bit on the rambling/bitching side but something had to be said. I think that his only appeal is to morons and 17 year olds (which may or may not be the same thing). Sadly he is one of the most influential guitar players of recent times, but is still influential. I don't know, maybe I would dislike him less if he didn't focus so heavily on his ridiculous image and play better. I mean I still own a good  number of his older albums and play them from time to time, but he's not my favorite. That is all.