Recollection

It boggles my mind how fast time can fly by sometimes. Often times I find myself attaching time to some object and then I reflect on how long it's been since I got said object or how long it's been since it came out. Often times I find myself doing this with albums. I guess that's because they have a year behind them; or maybe I'm full of shit and don't know why I do that. Anyways here is a short list of albums from various times that really stuck out to me for some reason. They're probably reasons no one else cares about, so if you don't; too bad?

Overkill - The Years of Decay; came out in 1989, I got it in 2009 (a tad late eh?)
I got this album and whenever I listen to it, it always makes me think of my first semester in grad school at AAU. I always think back to walking around Market St. at like 8:00 am waiting for class to start. Also I was filled with optimism because I didn't realize my dreams would be crushed.

Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking; came out in 1988, I got it in 2008
This album always makes me think back to the summer I moved out to San Francisco. I remember taking my awesome dogs The Dude & Steve to the dog park, and also listening to this as we drove through almost all of North Dakota.

Kiss - MTV Unplugged; came out in 1996, I got it in 1996
This decent album is what got me started. I remember wanting to hear what "Rock & Roll All Night" sounded like, and next thing you know....

Metallica - ...And Justice For All; came out in 1988, I got it in 1998
I remember that I got this because some guy at UND killed himself and his parents sold all of his cd's for $5 a pop and I grabbed this one. Messed up I know.

Alice In Chains - Greatest Hits; came out in 2001, I got it in 2001
I remember this being my first AIC disc and it was around the time I broke my knuckle. I had to travel to the air base for physical therapy 3-4 times a week for a few months. Super fun times. Also I remember listening to "I Stay Away" as my mom and I drove home a bunch of times in the Fall.

So yeah that be it people. Go read something else.

Purple Pain (See What I Did There?)

What the hell is wrong with the Minnesota Vikings?

Seriously, awhile ago on NFL Network they had a Top Ten Countdown episode of the most snake bitten franchise and the Vikings were at or near the top. I swear, you couldn't make up half the shit that I hear about. Then the whole Randy Moss thing; lets bring the prodigal son home BUT we won't utilize him and the cut him after a month. Bravo. Spare me all the stuff about his baggage, I've known about that since '98. You know what you're getting with him so don't be a tard and pull the plug so fast.
Then there's the head coach Brad Childress. I don't think I can really put into coherent thoughts how much he sucks as a leader of a team. I'm sure in his personal life he's a nice guy but as a football coach, he is a little better than a grad student intern at a small time Division 3 school.
I wish that I was still in Grand Forks so that I could read all the local papers talk about the soap opera that is the Vikings. Here in San Francisco it's just not the same, dealing with dumpster fire that is the 49ers and the Raiders.
As a long time (14 years, is that really long time?) fan of my beloved Purple & Gold, I have developed a theory which I now believe is accurate: once every 10 years the Vikings have a legitimate shot to win the Super Bowl only to screw it up in horrendous fashion. Think about it. In the '60s; they started off like any expansion team but by the end of the decade they made it to the Super Bowl and lost. In the '70s, it deviates a bit because they made it to 3 Super Bowls, but again lost them all. In the '80s they had one maybe two real legitimate shots and blew it. In the '90s, they had the magical 1998 season and some how blew it. 2000, they were lucky to get into the NFC title game as evidenced by the outcome. 10 years later, they get Brett Favre and again make it to the NFC and somehow blow it. Again. See a pattern emerging here? About once a decade they have a chance to win it and more than likely won't. I know that this seems very pessimistic, but I love this damn team and even when they suck I pull for them and wear my Jim Kleinsasser jersey every week. It's just that they have a bad habit of killing every last one of us with this crap.

It's Still Raining Shit...

So it's only early(ish) November and I can't wait for this semester to be over with, and not for the usual reasons that college students wish for. Mine is a little different; this semester has revealed two things to me: 1. I am not that good at Graphic Design and can only hack my way through it, and 2. I need to get the fuck out of Graphic Design. I've decided that I'm not cut out for it, I don't enjoy doing it as much as I used to or want to, and I don't want to do something that I don't truly love. So I decided that after this semester I am going to become a Printmaker, which in hindsight, I probably should have done in the first place. This is a huge step and it's not something I just decided to do. For me it was easy and also not easy. It was easy for the reasons I mentioned and also for others, but not easy because of the people who I have met in the Graphic Design department and consider friends. But I can't stay for that reason, it's stupid and won't help me. In the meantime I have to stick through turning in shitty work after shitty work and being the obvious "worst, what the fuck is he doing here, he should really drop out, man his shit is SO bad, haha look at this" person. It's not fun in any way shape or form but I'm starting to develop round shoulders, so yey?

It's Raining Shit Today...

Good times do not appear to be on the horizon line these days. I'm not sure how to fix things or even what to do. By things I mean school. It's really strange, I've never been the bees knees in anything at school. Never been great (necessarily) or been awful, but this semester anything and everything that can go wrong has happened to me. Hours upon hours of work seem to be wasted and as a result my resolve and motivation is at an all time low. The worst thing is that there is almost no one who wants to hear from some 24 year old about their problems. It's really frustrating. I have 3 classes with technically 5 teachers. 1 of them is super cool. He knows that the life of a graduate student sucks ass on its best day. 2 of them are great in that they give you bad news because you need to hear it and they know that it's best for you. The other 2, well they're a fucking joke in my opinion. They love to belittle you and watch you squirm. I've said this to others I know, who also agree with me, these two ass clowns know what they are talking about, they honest to science do; BUT that does not qualify them to be instructors. As far as that goes, they are so fucking terrible it's not even funny. So as a result of recent events, I am left to question myself and wonder if being in my department is what I want to do, because it has throughly sapped my creative energy and taken the fight out of me.

Spare Some Change? No I WIll Not!

Homeless people. Let me rephrase that, "homeless people", they drive me nuts. They are clearly not homeless, they just want a god damn free handout and it really irritates me. I'd say the one that bugs me the most is this "homeless guy" who sits around the Subway on Fillmore and asks for money. I always suspected that he wasn't really homeless and then one day I saw that lying sack of turds get out of his car four blocks away from Subway and click the car alarm. How lame is that shit? Then to top it all of he sits across the sidewalk from a guy who is really legitimately homeless and he doesn't ask anyone for money or anything. As a result people always stop to talk to him and make sure he is doing okay, they give him money and he always has food and warm clothes.
My other gripe is when homeless people have pets. Seriously; you smell like ass, can barely feed yourself and you own a pet who needs food of their own along with proper health care? What the hell is that? I mean I know that their people and they have feelings and would like companionship and blah blah blah. Still though, if you have a hard time supporting yourself, don't own a pet; it's just not fair to them.
So yeah, that's me on my soapbox for the day. Fake homeless people suck, and real homeless people shouldn't own pets.

5 Short Tales Of Heroism...Kinda

To change it up and be silly, cause everyone knows that I'm Mr. Serious, here is a short collection of random stories that involve yours truly...

1. When I was in high school I took a independent study class where I went to a graphic design company and did whatever it was they wanted me to do, you know the bitch work. So anyways one day I get there and the owner who I'll refer to as....Turd Ferguson, says to me that there will be a blind kid from some other school coming in in the next few days to try his hand at this, so I said "Sounds good." I didn't actually say that, but anyways. So a few days go by and nothing, then one wintery day I show up and say in a loud voice "HEY, WHEN'S THAT BLIND KID GONNA SHOW UP?" Both Turd and his asshole associate stare at me, then come over and say in a sheepish voice "He's right over there." I look over and see him, then they stare at me and an awkward afternoon ensued.

2. Recently, like September 20 2010, recently, I came home from a workshop. My fiance's sister Megan aka El Diablo (jk) and her friend whose name is escaping me were there eating dinner. I pull out my ear buds since Pantera was drowning them out. Then Megan introduces us to each other, and I instantly say; "Hey your the one...with the forest right?" She's puzzled. "Yeah...you know in the woods." Same reaction. " Your the one who pooped in the woods right?" Megan laughs and her friend is embarrassed. Good times.

3. In 2004 some of my friends and I went to Minneapolis to see Slayer again. Some of my other friends were already there at the venue. We pull up to the venue and we see them standing in a sea of soon to be super sweaty nasty looking guys. We wave to them like the idiots that we were (we still are) and keep driving down the street to find a parking spot. No such luck so I turn down a street that later turned out to be a one way street and by later I mean about 10 seconds after I turned on to it. No sooner had that happened than I saw about 4 of the biggest city buses barreling down on us, because I kinda sorta turned on to a one way going...the wrong way. Oh yeah and everyone going to the concert saw this, so we lived (somehow) and made our way to the venue with about 900 people staring at us and making fun of us for being tards.

4. When I was in high school I worked at the old BK Lounge. Wasn't great but wasn't awful either. One day I'm standing there and see this guy with a Strawberry milk shake go into the bathroom. Also this older lady who worked there went into the womens bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out and then a few more minutes later the guy comes out. Instantly the whole place smells like shit, like some lit a shit flavored candle and then farted on top of it. So I go up to a group of my fellow workers and go "Hey you see that guy over there?" They said yes. "He went into the bathroom and took a nasty shit, that's what that smell is." I then get told no its not by that older lady I worked with. I debated that it was and there was no possible alternative. She left then about 30 seconds later one of the managers came over and said "You know it wasn't that guy right?" "It had to be there's no othe..." "Mary", the older lady's name, "has a Colostomy Bag. She just emptied it." Insert foot into mouth.

5. In college I worked at a sweet music store, which I've already covered in previous blog things. Anyways every summer we had this big reading clinic where the biggest sheet music companies would send all of their crap over to us and we would let teachers try it out and then they'd buy it and a bunch of instruments. Well one day this guy Jason and I had to return some stuff to UND where we had borrowed it. So I'm driving the van and it has a trailer on it. I don't know if you've ever tried to back that shit up before, but it's hard! So I pull around and we get the instruments unloaded and its time to leave. Well there's this house next to the art/music building that just so happens to belong to the president of the school. I see his wife leaving and after waiting a few minutes, we cut across the lawn; big ass van and trailer in tow. Well, she was at the stop sign still and we passed her and her facial expression (good times). Anyways we get back to the store and mum is the word. About 4 hours later I get called back to my boss's office and he says that the police had called about someone driving on the presidents lawn. I told him what happened and he thought it was funny. I said that there was no damage to the grass, and it was all good. Mostly because it made everyone laugh and because the police thought that the van and trailer belonged to our crosstown rivals.

And So It Begins (Again)

So it's that time of the year. A new semester loaded with new challenges, more stress, and more debt (bangin). Also coming back are the jackasses who call themselves artists but in reality just look like jackasses. There are really only two things/types of people who make me ashamed of what I do, sometimes they are the same person. One is the super over intellectual/conceptual artist and the other is the person who thinks that because we go to an art school in a fairly progressive state, that they need to dress like the biggest douche bags in the history of douche bags. As I said sometimes these two people are really just one sad annoying person.
Everyday, everyday that I go to class (which this semester is Monday,Wednesday, Friday) these people are all over New Montgomery Street; they have on super skinny pants, messed up haircuts, crazy tight v-neck shirts on, ridiculous bags, and stupid shoes on. It makes me cringe to see these people look like this, but every time I do a few thoughts go through my head: 1) Why? 2) That must take so much work 3) What is the point? 4) You know I can see you right? 5) You look retarded 6)Why? 7) Who are you trying to impress here? 8) Why?  I also try to imagine them getting all ready, putting their guy liner on, getting the right look (you know the one that took about 3 hours but they want to make it look like it took only 10 minutes), plus what do their parents think? I mean people of my generation have parents who grew up between 1960-1969 (for the most part) which means that their parents grew up about 30 years earlier AND those people definitely wouldn't allow this. So I just try to imagine D-Bag artist guy coming home on winter break to like Idaho and everyone looking at him like the weirdo he is. This is a fun game to play when you are people watching. Oh and the guys and girls are on equal ground here; plus you throw in the international students who don't know any better and insanity ensues!
Now granted that AAU has both undergrad and graduate studies so is probably about 50-50 on which one looks stupider, BUT they should ask themselves a question: If I am a teacher listening to a half baked attempt at trying to explain your reasoning behind why you did something, how am I supposed to get past the fact that you have huge spacers in your ears, skinny jeans on, some fucked up hybrid faux hawk/mullet thing dyed orange, some stupid thrift store jacket shirt combo, and a preposterous beard AND take your argument seriously? Now I know that personally I don't dress to the 9's but I wear at least presentable clothes and take a shower.
It's sad to me that these people are more about the image of being an artist than actually just letting their work speak for them. They feel the need to look the part, because I guess it helps to validate them as the burgeoning artists that they hope to become. It bothers me because not only are my eyes being violated by them, but then I have to sit here and listen to the crock of shit that comes out of there mouths so that they feel intellectual enough about things also. One might go so far as to call these people hipsters, and you wouldn't be far off. So this me amigos, is why I despise these people and it makes me ashamed to call myself an artist/designer/cool guy/super hero.