Something to Ponder

I've been going through a phase where I'm currently listening to a lot of Slayer amongst other artists and genres, and it got me thinking about a few things; 1) I am super glad/lucky I got to see them with the original 4 guys twice inside of a year 2) Slayer should not play Dave Lombardo songs without Dave Lombardo, and they should not play Paul Bostaph songs without Paul Bostaph 3) towards the end of his run with Slayer Jeff Hanneman's leads were beyond not good.
Now I know that its a bummer about Jeff Hanneman, but if you listen to any of their live stuff from say...2005 until Hanneman had to bow out, his lead playing was atrocious. I know that he had arthritis and various aliments that he didn't want out in the open, I know that Slayer has an unorthodox lead style, I know that he played whatever he wanted to, BUT the leads were bad. I like noisy solos as much as the next guitar guy. The stuff you can do with a whammy bar and some delay/reverb is amazing, but he wasn't even trying. This none more apparent then when you listen to say "Seasons In the Abyss" from The Big 4 box set (which is an awesomely awesome thing BTW). Now it's not just his leads that sucked balls in that show; Kerry King is very meh as well. But the solo(s) in that song are so good. SOOOO GOOD. And during that one he just wanks chromatically all over the place. It sounds like a kid with epilepsy at Guitar Center playing. Yikes.
My next point. Yes it sucks that Lombardo is out, again. But at least Bostaph is back in. If you watch the YouTube videos of them both playing you can tell the differences between their styles obviously and how they don't really fit into the others songs well at all. Example: watch Lombardo play something like "Dittohead". Great song, but the drumming is super tight and technical. Dave Lombardo is not tight at all. He has that great groove that makes the songs he plays on come alive. Plus he loves to do improv (which he is super good at), which does not lend its self to Bostaph songs. Second example: watch Bostaph play "War Ensemble". He is way stiff. But that's his style. Technical and precise. That's not to say that he lacks groove or anything, but he can't hold a candle to Lombardo. The parts in that song are looser, even the fast parts, and they give that song life. But when a robot plays them not so much. So again my solution: don't have Dave Lombardo play Paul Bostaph songs, and don't have Paul Bostaph play Dave Lombardo songs.
And, I really don't know how I feel about Gary Holt moving forward with these guys. Maybe it's because it's too soon since Hanneman, but it feels weird. And what does it do to Exodus? We'll see I guess.

Dumpy Apartment and the Crazy Stories It Has Given Me: Part II

Wow. Just wow. Until I moved into this place, if you had tried to tell me that a person like my landlord existed, I probably would not have believed you. Here are some of the dumb things that I have, been told or witnessed personally her doing.

* She stole one of my roommates bottles of laundry soap.
* She goes through our trash. Yes.
* I have rabbits so she wants their poop for her "garden". So when I take out my trash, like a rodent she rips the bag open getting rabbit shit everywhere.
* We have come into the house serval times to find her rooting around for no reason.
* She leaves rotten stinky food outside. Like out in the front yard outside.
* I saw her trying to steal a desk that was outside someones home. Not on the curb, but right in front of their house.
* She has no concept of keeping things to herself; like she talks to all three of us, about each other. Trying to stir shit up.
* Also she tries to charge us arbitrary amounts of money for things. Unaware that we know this shit hole is rent controlled.
* My personal favorite; she asked to borrow money from me.


So yeah. Hard to believe someone like that really exists huh?

Hey Murray!!!!

I'm sure like most guys out there, you use some sort of product in your hair. I've tried my fair share of stuff, just to see what I like or works best. Along the way I've encountered some pretty sweet products, but I've also encountered one of the worst/shittiest hair products ever:

MURRAY'S POMADE
(dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn)

Here was my thought process upon trying some of Murray's Pomade. The previous product I had purchased was through Walgreens and it was fucking awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome. So, I decided that I would go back and get some again. Guess what? They didn't have it. So I tried 3 other Walgreens with no luck. I then went to the one closest to my house and looked at their selection. Not much to choose from that didn't look super shitty. I then looked at the prices. Now this alone should have been a dead give away on the type of product I was about to purchase.

$1.99

Now the reasonable person in me thought: "Hey; its $1.99 and it has more in it than any other product. This is a deal!" Wrong.

The first time I used it, I knew I had made a costly $1.99 mistake. This shit is tacky (literally) as hell. After somehow getting it in my hair I washed my hands seriously, 10 times and they were still tacky. My hair looked like I had been in a wind tunnel. The next morning when I went to wash my hair, yikes. I washed it probably 2-3 times and I could still feel the grit in it.

So, after 2 days of using Murray's Pomade, I threw in the towel. Fuck this shit. It's terrible. Worst $1.99 I've spent in a long time.

Dumpy Apartment and the Crazy Stories It Has Given Me

Well, since the last time I have written anything; some big changes have happened. Some personal problems have come up and as a result, I ended up moving to a new place. AND boy, is this place weird...

Here are some strange things that I have noticed/learned about my new place; partly from me observing and also from talking to my two other roommates (who feel and the think the same things about this place).

First off, there are three of us who live in this place. We each know the landlady by three different names and reach her through three different numbers. This lady is also a hoarder. There is shit crammed into every possible nook and cranny of this dump. In addition to that, she has three vehicles that are also filled with shit.
The landlady has a problem with one of my roommates, because he questions the dumb bullshit that she does. As a result of this, the landlady badmouthed this guy to me and our other roommate before we each moved in. As a result, we figured out she is full of shit and we actually like each other. Also to go with that, she never calls him by his name and if one of us mentions his name, she stares off like she has no idea who we are talking about.
Did I mention that there is a lot of shit in this place? Well there is. To go along with all the shit in this place, there are a shit ton of rats in the attic. Like if you are in the kitchen and it's quiet, you can here them scurrying around, having sex, or doing whatever it is that rats do. Due to the gross nature of this place, we all keep all of our personal belongings in our rooms. Not because of each other, but because it's gross and she has taken some things from past occupants "by accident".
That also reminds me. We all have locks on our doors. Again not because of each other, but from her. When I was going to move in, she offered me a choice of two locks. Two SHITTY locks. One was a combination lock and the other was a key lock; with a key so small you lose it just by looking at it. I told her I was going to buy a Master Lock. You've heard of Master Lock before right? Well, she is the only person in the world who hasn't. I showed her my lock and she was mystified. Oh yeah, there was an old lock on the door that I needed to get off. She said "How are you going to get that off?". I said "Well, don't you have a bolt cutter?". She then shot me a look that said; why would you ask something so fucking stupid? Well when I moved in, I had to get that lock off so how did I do it? I ripped it off with my bare hands. I told her how I did that and she told me it took four guys to put that lock on the door. That's right, four guys.


I will be in this dumpy shit hole of a dump until the end of June and I am very, very positive that this place is a gold mine for this blog. So stay tuned!

Don't Be That Guy

What's going on there people? In this enthralling edition of One Terrible Blog, I'm gonna discuss some muzak with you. What I am going to discuss is this; no one, anyone, should ever cover the following 3 rock artists: Jimi Hendrix, Van Halen, & Pantera. Allow me to elaborate...

First off, all 3 were/are guitar players who cannot be matched. They have a unique voice and style and when others cover their material, it frankly sounds like dog shit. They can't match the vibe or the feel of the originals.

Examples:

Van Halen: EVH is without a doubt one of the most influential guitar players er....ever. The way that he plays off of his brother, Roth/Hager/Cherone, the man with 2 first names/his kid; is unmatched by others.

Pantera: That band just had a groove that cannot be matched or replicated. When ever you see some ass hat on Youtube doing a Pantera cover; it sounds like crap. Also a side note to that...why in the name of all that is good, would anyone, anywhere ever want to hear Zakk Wylde play with those guys? He doesn't have the style to do it. He's all fast stupid pentatonic runs and awful vibrato. Plus if you go onto Youtube you can see him "jamming" onstage with them at the end of Primal Concrete Sledge. One word: supergoddamnfudgingawful.

and lastly....

Hendrix: If you need to know why it should be outlawed covering a Hendrix tune, my only argument is this: search Youtube for Yngwie  J. Malmsteen doing a horrendously terrible version of Voodoo Child. That's it. That's my argument.

Anyways, never ever be the guy who covers anyone those bands unless your name is Edward Van Halen, Dimebag Darrell, or Jimi Hendrix.

Son Of A Bitch Jeans

I don't know if anyone who stumbles across this by total accident has the same problem as me; BUT I have a pair of jeans which fit great (and even a bit loose) and the son of a bitch bastard zipper comes undone when I walk. Holy balls is that annoying. If I walk maybe 45 feet the whole thing is undone. Free peep show for oncoming foot traffic.

I'm not sure which is more embarrassing: a) having to constantly rezip my pants like some sort of fool, b) forgetting about it and walking like that for blocks on end, or c) having to try and zip my pants up (non) discreetly, even though everyone probably knows what's up.

Anyways, damn jeans.

Naked Ghosts

Long time no see. Well I've been busy, but here goes nothing.

So I was in my Advanced Silkscreen class the other week, and in between technique demos, a buddy of mine posed a serious question:

Why do ghosts always have clothes on?

Good question. Why do ghosts have clothes on? I mean they are material items, right? So how would they last into the next dimension or life? In addition to that, why are the clothes always so dirty and crappy looking? But I guess that it's a better alternative to them being naked right? Well, in some cases that wouldn't be too bad to see a naked ghost but more often than not they are doing us a solid. And why are they always so decayed looking? They are ghosts not zombies.

Anyways so ponder that. Later taters.